I’m off to my go-to lunch truck*, doing my normal lunch truck thing. The normal Lunch Truck Guy is out of the country for a couple months, and his cousin has taken over operation of the truck. I’ve barely noticed a change- The Cousin has been trained well.
Me: Hey, The Cousin! How’s it going today?
The Cousin: Mike**! Great great. You come at good time. I am on the phone with Lunch Truck Guy, you want to talk?
Me, awkward on the phone: Well, I, ah… not really
The Cousin takes out his little bluetooth earpiece and hands it to me.
Me: Uhhh, sure. Okay.
Lunch Truck Guy: Mike! How are you?
Me: I’m… good.
Me, internally: Christ this feels like I’m on the phone with that weird Aunt I talk to once every 5 years
Me: How’s Pakistan?
Lunch Truck Guy: I am home! Everything is wonderful here. Is The Cousin taking good care of you?
Me: Oh yeah. He’s great.
Lunch Truck Guy: I tell him, ‘you take care of my friends!’ and he does!
Me, who already knows all this: Yup
Lunch Truck Guy: He’s good guy.
Me: He sure is.
Lunch Truck Guy: awkward pause
Me: More awkward pause
Lunch Truck Guy: continuation of awkward pause
Me: Haha well, my food is ready and I gotta go nicetalkingtoyoubyeeee
The Cousin: But the sandwich isn’t rea-
Me: Take the headset.
*Not this guy. There’s one much closer to the library that I regularly visit.
**They both think my name is Mike. I stopped correcting them years ago.
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