Patron: Jesus! Hahahahahahaha
Me: I bless you.
Patron, “flirting”: Jesus (pronounced in Spanish, like hey-soos) hahahahahahah
Me: Never heard that one before. Do you have your library card?
Patron, getting progressively weirder: You ever play in any of those movies? Hahahahahhaaahaha
Me: No.
Patron, long past the point of no return: You should. You look like Philly Jesus ahahahahhaaaaahahahahahah
Me, internally: Creep.