The day has come.
I didn’t get much sleep last night because of all the prep. I mean poop. It wasn’t fun. In any event, Jilly is here, and she is graciously driving me to the hospital.
Jilly: So what all happens today?
Me: I go in, they sedate me, they stuff cameras into me, they wake me up. Then I call you to come get me. And you bring snacks because I haven’t eaten in 36 hours and I’m dying.
Jilly: Cameras? Plural?
Me: Did I forget to mention I’m getting an endoscopy too?
Jilly: You’re getting both? At the same time?
Jilly: What, are they gonna meet in the middle?
Me: 🙄
Me: Hilarious.*
Jilly: Are you nervous?
Me: A little. I’ve had the endoscopy before but this is my first colonoscopy. I’ve heard stories of soreness that might last a couple days…
Me: I’m not looking forward to that part.
Jilly: Butt soreness?
Me: Butt soreness.
Jilly: Yikes. So. I drop you off here and you’ll be okay until later?
Me: I think so. I’ll see you in a few hours?
Jilly: Yes you will. What’s that in your bag?
Me: Snacks.
Jilly: Did you get teriyaki chicken jerky? After you haven’t eaten in so long and are getting a camera up your ass?
Me, nodding: Once is not enough.
Me: I will destroy this butthole a second time.
*Author’s note: It was actually hilarious