The Fine

Patron: Hi I need a printout for how much I owe

Me: sure!

Me, staring in horror at the largest fine I’ve ever seen, or even heard of anecdotally: Uhhh this is like 9 pages are you sure

Patron: Yep!

Me: Here you go

Patron: WAIT don’t close me out yet

Me: What does that even mean

Patron, handing me a wad of cash: Here is my August/September payment installment.

Me: what in the name of all that is holy

Patron: I need a receipt for that.

Me: Here you go.

Patron: Okay now I need another printout of the full bill.

Me: But… it’s those same 9 pages again.

Patron: Oh, that’s okay! I don’t mind.

Me: …but I mind! It’s a waste of paper! What do you need it for?

Patron: I need confirmation that you accepted my payment

Me: You are literally holding the receipt

Patron: I need to compare the old and new numbers.

Me: But there is a clear and detailed record, and it’s reflected in the receipt I just handed you

Patron: Every time I come to a new branch there’s a discrepancy in the system.

Me: If that’s the case… and it’s clearly not, given the fact that everything in the computer is right… why not just go to the same branch every time?

Patron: I like it better this way.

Me: oh my god

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