The Fly

Me: Agh

Me: Fuck off, fly.

Coworker: We have awakened the beast. Other Coworker! Come kill this fly.

Me: It’s okay, I can get it.

Coworker: No, Matt. You need to see this.

Other Coworker: All right, all right. Where is it?

Me: I, uh

Me: I have eyes on target?

Other Coworker, grumbling: Hang on, hang on. I’m coming. Don’t scare the thing off.

Other Coworker, holding a rubber band: Just hold still. You’re watching so I might miss.

Me: What the hell does that mea-

Other Coworker flicks the rubber band at the fly sitting on my computer tower. The fly vanishes.

Me: What the fresh fuck just happened

Other Coworker: Aaaaaaayep. That’s a dead fly, my friend.

Other Coworker: Works every time. Good luck finding the body, though.

Other Coworker: My methods are effective, but messy.

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