Me: Ohhhhhhh myyyyyy goddddd
Me: It’s 1:00
Me: I got here at 9!
Me: How you doin in there, pal?
Dot: I hate you.
The line is taking forever, and I’ve made several new friends. Like, 5 dogs were looking at my Dunkin Donuts sausage sandwich, and Jilly was right: It was basically poison. The dogs would have enjoyed it more than me. Jilly had to go to work, so now I’m here on my own.
And the dogs were clearly enjoying something- they were pooping all over the sidewalk, and only a few of the owners tried to clean it up. Even fewer succeeded.
There’s a toddler behind me who keeps trying to play with Dot. I’m not letting them. Dot’s eye is looking pretty gnarly, but not as bad as last night. In fact, the swelling has gone down enough that I can tell: He hasn’t lost it after all!
Meanwhile, I’m looking into the carrier at his eye, and this kid comes up behind it, trying to play.
Toddler’s Mom: [something in Spanish]
Toddler: 0.0
Toddler: EWWWWW POOP
Toddler leaps away from a nearby pile of dog droppings and looks at me.
Me: That’s what happens when you mess with animals that don’t wanna be messed with.
Someone Else In Line: Hey buddy, you got something on your shoe.
Me: God dammit theSE ARE BRAND NEW