The Lunch Truck

One day, on my lunch break, I’m hanging out in Shakespeare Park, right across from the central library. There, I run into a friend.

Friend: Hey Matt! So, you work at the big big library huh? Do you eat at a lot of the food trucks here?

Me: Sometimes. I try not to eat out that much at all, but lately discipline’s been difficult.

Friend: So yes.

Me: Yeah.

Friend: Been to the Greek one out on 20th? Out on… either Market or JFK, I don’t know.

Me: No, I haven’t.

Friend: Oh, he’s the best. Charcoal grill-

Me: Sold.

Friend: Wait wait let me finish. He burns a charcoal grill all day long, and there’s no menu. You go up, you give the guy $10, you leave. He gives you more food than you can even eat. It’s great!

Me: I normally don’t like to spend $10 on lunch but you have me intrigued.

So, a couple days later, I’m on my lunch break and I decide it’s time to check out the weird Greek truck.

I hop on my bike, and head down 20th. I pass JFK, and there’s no truck there, so I head down one more to Market. There is a truck there, but it’s got a menu and there’s no charcoal grill.

And then I smell it. Reader, if you ever want to convince me to do something, just grill me something over hot coals and I will be putty in your hands. Across the street there’s a truck with an unusual number of people. This must be the place.

I go up to the truck, and I look it up and down. Nobody says a word.

Now, I’ve seen Seinfeld. I’m not about to say a word that might make the guy say “NO INDETERMINATE GREEK FOOD FOR YOU.”

Food Truck Guy, pointing to my left: You want one? You wait over there and I make you one.

And then, this dude would NOT STOP RAMBLING. Here is approximately 1/8th of what he said while I waited:

Food Truck Guy: You have big education, a problem

Food Truck Guy: Take a picture, make a poster, if you’re young, why not?

Food Truck Guy: If you have good ingredients, you don’t need to be good chef. Best quality! I have best ingredients

Food Truck Guy: You go out to fancy place, you pay lotsa money, but they give you old. And you taste! Very expensive. Bad.

Food Truck Guy: You eat good you stay young! Fight off old, fight off time. You eat quality, then you good

Food Truck Guy: Other places have menu, and you wonder what’s wrong! I no have menu.

Food Truck Guy: Everybody cooks in the city. Every one! Best quality… costs a lotta time and money

Food Truck Guy: They say my food is better, BUT, I know it’s better. It’s the good ingredients.

Food Truck Guy: Yeah you can do the barbecue all day and all night if you don’t have the barbecue ingredients

Food Truck Guy: Yeah India and Iran. And India too. In 1975, ‘76. You from India right?

Customer: Iran

Food Truck Guy: Ahh ahh Iran take a picture is good

Food Truck Guy: And I say to myself I never see people together, you know what I mean?

Food Truck Guy: No more bacon? No more. I say you take it out because if you don’t take it out what’s gonna happen is it’s gonna close, with an injury. If I cut my hand I don’t do nothing. Am I gonna close? Never.

Food Truck Guy, shaking his head: By 18 year I fix it. If you don’t eat right…

Food Truck Guy, to me: Is your first time?

Me: yeah

Food Truck Guy: Good good who tell you, your friend?

Me: yeah

Food Truck Guy: He not a bullshitter! He quality guy. Good education. Get a bite. If you don’t understand, this is not to eat. What, ahh, what, ahh, what’s next?

Food Truck Guy: Yeah yeah you think you no serious. You do serious work. You professional. You do it good

Food Truck Guy: Take a picture! You gotta remember. Good food good

Food Truck Guy: I don’t work. I never work. I no like work. I eat!

Food Truck Guy: You can ride you bike and take it to Starbucks right here. Sit. Eat. Enjoy yourself. They not gonna bother you. I serious!!

He kept saying, “take a picture” so I took a couple. He didn’t give me a fork or a bag, just a super-thin styrofoam container that cracked the moment I tried to move it. The platter was excellent. Go there today!