The Lyft Ride

Sharing a Lyft is fun.

I get in the front seat of the car, and there’s a parent-child duo in the backseat. We exchange our pleasantries and head off to drop them off before it’s my turn.

Parent: All right, so we have to go over to Home Depot

Child: Wait, Home Depot?

Parent: Yeah. We need stuff from there.

Child: That’s not what you put in the directions.

Parent: It is, too. Driver here is taking us there.

Driver: No, I’m not.

Child: You have to cancel the ride.

Parent: I can’t cancel the ride, I’m IN the ride!

Me: Why would you even go to Home Depot? It’s like 6 miles from here and there’s a Lowe’s right around the corner.

Child: Cancel the ride.

Parent: Driver, how do I fix this?

Driver: You can cancel the ride. I think.

Meanwhile, Driver is taking us to the original, wrong destination.

Child: Tap that button right there

Parent: I don’t see a button.

Driver: I’m not sure where the button is.

Child: It’s riGHT THERE

Parent: Here it is!

Driver: We’re here.

Parent: Well, since we’re here, run inside and grab somethin real quick.

Child runs out of the car and into a nearby house.

Parent: They’ll just be a second.

Me, internally: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyygodddddddddddddddd

Child returns after a couple minutes. Driver departs.

Parent: So now we’re off to Home Dep… Lowe’s, I guess. Oh, thank you…

Parent checks their phone.

Parent: Matt! Let’s get Matt to his destination first.

Me: Please.

Parent: Where’s the Lowe’s?

We talk directions for WAY TOO GOD DAMN LONG before we finally make it to my destination.

Driver: Thanks so much! Have a good night

Me: That wasn’t worth the $3 I saved.

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