Some friends-of-friends were going to a Steven Universe-themed party out in a public park, and being that it was in a public park and all, I said fuck it, why not check it out?
I joined the facebook event page for it and the date and location changed a couple times. Since I’m obsessively (and problematically) on my phone all the time, I was always up-to-date on these changes- including the fact that the party was now at a private residence.
In order to get there, I had to get there stupid early on a Sunday morning. Like, noon. I don’t know why people host social stuff so early in the day. Me being me, I completely failed to get out of bed on time. I rolled up to the party around 1:30.
There was a piece of copy paper on the door that just said WELCOME in sharpie. It was unlocked, soooooo I went in.
I swear to god, the next couple minutes I was tiptoeing down the longest, creepiest hallway in the history of long, creepy hallways, with faint echoes of television at the end of it.
A sensible person would have gone home by now. But you already know I am not a sensible person.
At the end of the long, dark hallway I poked my head into a living room.
Me: Hello
One human-type person sat on the couch on the wall opposite me.
Human-Type-Person: Oh hi!
Me: I, uh… am here for the party? I think?
Human-Type-Person: Awesome! Thanks so much for coming! Come on in!
Human-Type-Person: I’m only up to season 3. Don’t spoil anything!
Me: I… won’t.
Human-Type-Person and I watch an episode from season 3. Or, more accurately, Human-Type-Person watches an episode from season 3 and I sit there silently and awkwardly.
Me: So did, uh… everyone else leave?
Human-Type-Person: Yep!
Me: Cool, cool. Yeah, I’m a little late.
Human-Type-Person: It’s okay! I’m glad you came out!
A couple minutes of this, and it turns out we’ve both had enough.
Human-Type-Person: WELP, I hate to kick you out but
Me: I’M ON IT, GOOD-BYE
Anyway, I’m a real party animal.