A coworker discovered a soda that had been in their locker for over two years.
Coworker: No! Don’t drink that!
Me: I’ll drink it
Coworker 2: Soda doesn’t expire, it’s fine.
Coworker: That’s disgusting, it’s probably flat.
Coworker 3: If it’s sealed it can’t go flat.
Me: I’ll drink it
Coworker 2: I think I’ll drink it.
Coworker: NO! Let me look at the… see?! It expired in 2015.
All Coworkers: Ew.
Me: I’ll drink it!
Coworker 3: I wanna see what happens. He’s gonna get indigestion.
Me: That’s my secret, Captain. I always have indigestion.
Coworker 3: You better not start farting up at the desk. If it smells funky in here, I’m calling you out.
Me: You don’t normally notice.
Everyone: MATT