Volunteer: Attention everyone! The spay and neuter clinic is now full for the day,
Everyone: God dammit
Volunteer: But if you’re only here for shots and microchips, you should stay in line.
Me: Well I’m gonna stay in line, then.
Volunteer: It shouldn’t be too much longer.
One Hour Later
Me: Somebody fucking kill me.
Dot: Let me out of this plastic box and I will grant your wish
Me: You couldn’t hurt a fly without both your eyes.
Dot: Oh yeah?
Me: Yeah.
Dot: Let’s throw down, motherfucker, come on, let’s go!
Volunteer: Mr. Kuh… kit… Mr. J. Matthew?
Me: Yup that’s me
Volunteer: You have Dot with you?
Dot: No, my name is Leo. Dot is my slave name.
Me: Shut up. Yes, Dot is with me.
Volunteer: This way, please.
Veterinarian: Hello, Dot!
Dot: You have freed me from my confinement, and for this I give you affection. Take note, bearded one!
Me: Jesus Christ.
Veterinarian: Wow, your eye is messed up.
Dot: This human abuses me.
Me: That’s a lie and you know it!
Veterinarian: Uh
Me: Dot’s a street kitty. I’ve been feeding him since last summer. When I pulled him into the house last night, I noticed his swollen eye for the first time.
Veterinarian: This looks to me like a bacterial infection. Will you be putting him back on the street?
Me: If you need me to keep him inside to treat him for a week, I will.
Veterinarian: Two weeks, please. Three of these eye drops every twelve hours for fourteen days.
Me: Can do.
So I take Dot back in the carrier, and call for a ride home.
Me, in the car: We’ll get you out of that thing soon, buddy. Got some nice treats for you at home, okay?
Dot: I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you.
Me, sniffing: What is that- Dot!
Dot: ehehehehehehehehehehehe
Me: God dammit cat, now you have to sit in that crate with your shit.
Dot: Yeah but SO DO YOU
Driver: What happened?
Me: You just got an extra tip is what happened.
So Dot came into the house with me and is staying here for two weeks while I nurse his eye back to health. I suspect he’s no longer angry with me though.