They’re Not Customers!

Me: Hey! How’s it going?

Coworker: Aww, you took my customer?

Me: Customer? Where? I don’t see any customers.

Coworker: Right in front of you!

Patron: what

Me: There are no customers here. This isn’t Barnes & Noble

Coworker: They’re customers.

Me: They’re not customers. They’re patrons.

Patron: what

Different Coworker: I only use the word “Patron” around staff. Otherwise I call them customers.

Me: But why? That doesn’t make any sense and implies that they came here with the intent to spend money. It’s an incorrect term.

Coworker: But if they go to, say, Trader Joe’s after, they’re customers.

Me: That is not relevant. There are no customers in this building

Coworker: I’m a customer.

Me: You are missing the point

Patron: So, can I have my books, or…?

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