Transmission

Me: I should learn how to drive a stick shift.

Jilly: Why

Jilly: Why would that ever be useful for you to learn?

Me: Well, you know. They’re more fuel efficient.

Jilly: That hasn’t been true for decades.

Me: I could do that thing where I roll it and start it if the battery is drained?

Jilly: What, jumper cables are too expensive?

Me: But in the event of a world-ending event, y’know, I might wind up needing to drive stick just to navigate this post-apocalyptic hellscape.

Jilly: Most cars manufactured now are automatic. What you’re talking about is a plot device that’s only in movies as an obstacle to the hero.

Me: I would get to brag about how I’m a better driver than everyone else?

Jilly: You already do that.

Me: I, uh…

Jilly: Yeah?

Me: When a Coronal Mass Ejection finally hits the earth, life will be spared but every electronic device using a transistor will be inoperable, leaving only really old cars available for use. So really, it’s just pragmatic.

Jilly: Was that bullshit your reason this whole time?

Me: MAYBE

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