Me: Okay lady-type. We’re on a mission.
Jilly:
Me: Good. Saxby’s is giving out free medium-sized coffee to anyone who voted.
Jilly, suddenly holding a cup of Saxby’s coffee: It’s a little burnt, but I’m not gonna complain about free. What’s next?
Me: Uhh… I heard Shake Shack was giving out free fries.
Jilly: I don’t like their fries… but I would like a burger.
Shake Shack Employee: What can I get you?
Me: Is it true about the free fries?
Shake Shack Employee: Yep!
Jilly: I’ll take a burger
Me: I will also take a burger, then we would both like an order of the free fries
Jilly: I don’t want fries.
Me: Then give them to me, I want them
Jilly: Don’t order fries on my behalf!
Me: It’s not on your behalf, it’s under your name. And I’ll eat them.
Jilly: I don’t want fries.
Me: I know. I want fries!
Jilly: You’ll get fries.
Jilly: Also I want a bite of your fries.
Me: Get your own! They’re free!
Jilly: I don’t want that many-
Me: I WILL EAT YOUR FRIES.
Jilly casually slips Shake Shack Employee her card and pays for my burger.
Me: Shit.
Me: Now I’m not allowed to be mad.
Jilly: You are not.