Acquaintance: If you had to choose between Wendy’s and McDonald’s, which would you choose?
Me: I would put used heroin needles in my eyes.
Acquaintance: Right but if that wasn’t an option.
Me: Wendy’s probably. They seem somehow less evil.
Acquaintance: Okay but based on taste.
Me: …
Me: Probably still Wendy’s. But first heroin needles.
Acquaintance: You are not helping me.
Me: Nor do I plan to