Me: …I’m not finding you in the system here. You mentioned you haven’t had a library card in a long time- did you ever go by another name?
Patron: Wright.
Me: Cool, so what was your old name?
Patron: Wright.
Me: Yeah. So what was your name previously?
Patron: Wright.
Me: Haha okay but I need to know-
Me: Shit. Am I Abbot or Costello?