Category: Matt’s Tall Tales

I just wanted a sandwich.

I like dogs.

I like snacks

I have good ideas.

We know what’s up.

I like bagels

I have them too

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Let’s get meta

An old Philly institution bites the dust.

Art is life

SUBMIT

Let’s talk about staying safe and healthy.

Don’t have a stroke.

We ultimately did buy the tickets

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday so I decided to be culturally sensitive

I have one

And so, I call my mom.

MORE TAXES

I pay mine.

In which I poison a beloved friend.

I sometimes enjoy fun.

I’m a real catch.

Go ahead, ask me what my sign is.

God dammit Comcast

Nobody likes cops

Fun fact: I know more jokes than Avengers

Me in 2015-2016: YEAH Me: BERNIE Me: YEAH Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Me, yesterday: So, uh… Bernie’s throwing his hat into the ring. Friend: Ugh….

Not a reference to the movie, but also a reference to the movie

It’s politics o’clock!

Mine is… active?

We know how to eat.

Racism is the best way to start the week.

I understand commitment.

More of the damn coins

I am one!

Mystery? I love mysteries!

Revel.

I hate everything

I get shots.

Why is everyone always judging the way I eat potatoes?!

Eat like a king!

Me: Oh wow! This tweet got a lot of likes. I wonder if I have any new followers. Twitter: You have 32 followers…

Be careful around kids.

How do Russians sneeze?