Me, on the phone, safely from my house: Hello! My name is Matt, I’ve been assigned to-
Walnut West Branch Head: Matt! What’re you doing, you don’t need to introduce yourself. I know who ya are.
Me, sweating: Right, yeah, of course… how ya doin… friend-o…
Walnut West Branch Head: You remember! We used to work Sundays in Children’s. You know, before the world went to shit.
Me: Oh, yeah. Yeah I actually do remember that
Me, internally: Thank god
Walnut West Branch Head: I’m thrilled you’ll be coming out west to work with us! You’re a strong worker, you know the job, and I tell ya, we could use the help.
Me: Yeah, I heard you were open to the public…
Walnut West Branch Head: Don’t you worry about that! It’s much better than it sounds. See, with the layout of the building, and this and that and blah blah blah it’s actually safe here!
Me, thinking about the spitter: Yeah… sounds good…
Me, internally: I am definitely gonna die.