Me: Oh, boy! Mail!
Me: City of Philadelphia… blah blah blah property assessment… Oh. Oh, shit.
Neighbor: Whatcha got?
Me: My property value has… skyrocketed.
Neighbor: Oh, that’s no good. Bye-bye, paycheck! Hello new property taxes!
Me: It’s not just that. I mean, yeah, that sucks, but you’ll be getting this same letter here, too. Now everyone has to pay more taxes because I overpaid for this stupid house.
Neighbor: Hahahaha yeah, you got ripped the fuck off, my man.
Me: I KNOW
Neighbor: You know, the neighbor on your other side, they sold their house for <ridiculously low price>.
Me: Fucking what? Is it in good shape?
Neighbor: Yeah!
Me: …then why is a construction crew currently gutting it?
Neighbor: Whoever bought it wants an open floor plan.
Me: That sounds like a developer to me.
Different Neighbor: Oh yeah! Things are changing on this block. Give it another ten years, you’ll be selling your place for $250,000!
Me: I… think the value will go up, but that’s a stretch.
Different Neighbor: Mark my words, man. None of us will be able to afford this block soon.
Me, the only white person who lives on this block: Yeah, and I’m part of the problem.
Neighbor: Ahh, don’t beat yourself up. You live where you can afford to live, and that’s that. We’ll all sell, and we’ll all be fine.
Me: I hope so.