Me: Great! Do you have your library card?
Patron: Oh, yeah, it’s…
Patron begins furiously groping her breasts
Me: uh
Patron spins around in a circle while meticulously grabbing at every square inch of her ample chest
Me and Coworker: uh
Patron reaches into her top and starts digging around
Me and everyone else in the room: uh
Patron reaches into wallet and immediately pulls out her card.
Patron: Huh! It wasn’t even up here.
Me and the human population of Philadelphia: uh