Iron-y

Me, cleaning my room: Huh. Why do I still have this?

A prescription bottle of ferrous sulfate

Me: I got this prescription in December.

Me: I didn’t even finish it? That’s so weird, I’m usually so good about medication.

Me: Why would I stop taking my iron supplement? They gave me a colonoscopy and found nothing, but I’m still iron deficient!

Me: Christ, I really am depressed. I need to get back on track right away!

Me, swallowing two pills: What’s that label say? 2 pills once a day? Let’s get right on that!

A close-up of the pill bottle label. It reads, "Take 1 tablet by mouth 2 times a day."
Narrator: That is not what the pill bottle said.

Me: This is me, doing my very best to be the healthiest me. GO ME!

later that day

Me, hunched over with agonizing stomach cramps and sitting on the toilet, with all the other textbook symptoms of iron poisoning: Ah yes, now I remember. This is why I stopped taking those pills.

Me: Fuck, that was a double dose, wasn’t it

Me: Ah well. At least this won’t last for three consecutive days!

three consecutive days later

Me: oh no

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