Librarian: It’s Book Lovers Day!
Me: How have I been here for over 4 years and not heard of this before?
Librarian: I don’t know! Find a book you like and let me take a photo!
Me: Okay
Me, two hours later: EVERY BOOK I WANT TO USE IS AT A PATRON’S HOUSE
Me: Librarian!
Librarian: what
Me: I want to take a photo of me, like, looking tough and flexing, but the book I’m holding is like, pink. And cartoony. And maybe sparkly too.
Librarian: You will never look tough in pink shorts.
Me: THESE ARE SALMON, I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW.
Me: Yeah, whatever. They’re pink. Tell me a book.
Librarian: Brave Chef Brianna.
Me: Perfect
Librarian: But you can’t take a photo with it unless you actually read it and actually like it
Me: You are standing in between me and greatness.
Me, two hours later: Okay. I read it, and it’s goddamn brilliant.
Librarian:
I forgot to flex.